It’s one thing to deal with your own stuff and the mess it makes – but what about when it’s other peoples clutter? Let’s look at how to deal with clutter that another member of the family produces, without it causing lots of stress and arguments.
Other peoples clutter is such a difficult thing to deal with because, well, it’s not yours.
It can be a real cause of arguments in a home, especially when one person in the house is more organised than the other – because you’re both trying to be comfortable and happy in your own space but the way each of you live is in direct conflict with the other.
You can’t force anyone to declutter/tidy/organise their items if they don’t want to – and if you do succeed by forcing them to do it then it’s probably going to be a source of tension and create arguments along the way.
More often than not the clutter will return with vengeance anyway.
It really is hard to know what to do for the best.
Other peoples clutter can feel overpowering in any home and can really start to have a negative effect on the house and those living there.
That’s got to stop, right?
So, here are some ways that can help you deal with other peoples stuff – and therefore lessen the extra stress in the house once and for all.
Hope they help!
Ways to deal with other peoples clutter
#1 – Keep your Hands off!
The first step to dealing with other peoples clutter is to not deal with it.
You can’t afford to get stressed over what you can’t change, it will get you far too stressed far too quickly, and it really is wasted energy – so what I would advise first and foremost is to let go of what you can’t directly change, and concentrate on what you can change first.
#2 – Understand each other more
Your way isn’t the only way to live – and you need to realise that the other person may be just as happy with the cluttered space as you’d be with the uncluttered space.
Equally – if the whole house is cluttered then you are living as the other person wants to live, and not how you want to live, so they need to understand how you’re feeling just as much as the other way around.
Talk through what you are doing with the other person, and help them to see why it’s important for you to be getting more organised – equally you need to understand why the other person loves a more cluttered environment as well.
If you can empathise with each other then you will both start to understand each other more, and any resentment you may have had with the other person will likely diminish.
#3 – Lead by example
As you can’t do anything with the other persons belongings, then you have to be willing to take control of your own stuff first, or that which belongs to the house in general.
A weird thing often happens at this stage, and that’s that after seeing the transformation of not only the space but the general feeling of the house once decluttering has started, this is sometimes enough to get the other person/people to join in of their own accord.
Now this may or may not happen in your own home, and even if it does it may well take time.
You’re waiting for fundamental changes to occur, and you will come up against resistance each step of the way, but organising is an ongoing process anyway, so it may just be worth the wait!
#4 – Create spaces for Each of you
I touched on the fact that if your home is totally cluttered with another persons stuff, you don’t have an equal footing in the home, so I would also take the time to create a space in your home that calms you, and that you can escape to if the rest of the house becomes too much.
Everyone should have a space in their home that truly reflects them.
While kids spaces are more easily identifiable usually as their bedrooms, because adults tend to share a bedroom this leaves the question of where their own personal space can be.
Look at your home and work out the best place for you – whether it be a whole room or part of a room, creating somewhere that you can call your haven will give you somewhere to retreat to when the rest of the house becomes too much.
Make the space into a place that you absolutely love to be in – clutter free and organised – with nice colours etc… – even have items for your hobby(s) in this space if you can so that you can do these in a calm place (a nice chair and bookcase if you love to read, or a desk for crafting etc….).
Also – when you have space for you – be equally willing to have space that’s cluttered and makes your partner / family member happy too…
Create spaces that you can each call your own and be yourself in. This is vital to ensuring your are both happy in your home.
TIP – When everyone has their own space – make them responsible for all parts of it. For example – if they have to clean it then they may realise the difficulties their clutter is adding to the process. It will also mean you don’t have to get frustrated by that space at all.
Can you deal with other peoples clutter more easily now?
It really isn’t easy to live in a home where the adults in the space are used to such differing environments, but you need to keep talking to each other so resentment doesn’t also clutter your home, and then start to find a middle ground that works for you both.
If you can work together, your home will be happier for it – and having part of your home less cluttered may be motivation enough for the other person to change how much clutter they have after all….